song of twitches

here it is;

I haven't shivered like this in months. it would feel good, save the gnawing thought: I AM AN ACCOMPLICE. fuck it. not like anyone else would do it any different. family is family. although I don't buy for a minister's minute that blood is automatically thicker that water. circumstantial evidence can be such an inconvenience. 

still, the cold makes its point. the song ends, and the TV in the bedroom reminds you that there are more players in the game than you'd taken into account on this particular expedition into the depths of your own personal quagmire. 

the aching muscles at the corner of your mouth - the ones that signify that you've been scowling for at least 15 minutes straight - further illustrate the point.

it's hard to imagine the cost of such follies which accompany this time of year. unless, of course, you happen to be a rat living in the tunnel connecting the basement to the consensus. yeah, be mindful of the gap. 

sorry , the union that handles that particular lapse in sarcastic cohesion has met with insolvency.

The Umbilical Cord of the Poor

I remember when automatic communication by means of a cellular phone was still some what of an oddity. service was expensive, and the phones themselves were clunky relics with retractable antennae. forget about ringtones and 'apps'. 

flash-forward several years and, suddenly, we had flip-phones and blackberries. (remember when the Razor was the neatest thing since sliced internet?) now, the vocabulary of communication had become slightly more bloated; including terms such as 'texting' and 'voicemail'. (anyone remember having to change the little cassettes in their answering machines?) yeah, suddenly, it seemed as if everyone had a little device stuck to the side of their head through which they were tethered to the rest of the world. at that point, having a land-line (yet another new phrase added to the lexicon) was the oddity. cordless phones and answering machines went the way of the personal pager.

flash-forward again to now, when the means of communication between sentient beings is regulated by wireless companies. and, whether it be antitrust laws or the massive hairy arm of free enterprise, there are a myriad such entities to choose from. however, they tend to break down into 2 categories:

1: heartless corporations who rangle a select few into 2-year contracts by dangling exceptional deals on the latest technological toys, ie: iPhones, DROID, tablets, etc. and then holding their payments, whether loyal or delinquent, over their heads like a fucking guillotine.

and, 2: heartless corporations who, in order to lure in the lowest common denominator, offer contract-free plans, at a "flat" monthly fee, by means of sub-par devices.

I myself am a victim of the latter.

I have no choice.

my credit is less than stellar & therefore I must rely upon, say, Virgin Mobile for my wireless communication needs. don't get me wrong, I was actually able to procure a fairly decent touch-screen phone for relatively cheap, with an also relatively cheap plan that included all the options that conformed with my meager needs. 

however, just like option #1, they have hidden ways in which to fuck you out of money, albeit smaller sums than a 2-year contract provider. 

in the end, it matters little to someone like me how much I am spending, or am flummoxed into spending. $10 might as well be $1,000. any amount hurts because I am a member of that certain statistic that is currently being name-dropped in the mainstream media so fucking much of late... 

I am unemployed, uninsured and, of course, undeserving.

yet, the fucking punchline is that I need a phone. I need that umbilical cord which connects my starving, destitute self to the all-encompassing teet of current communication. I have children whom I love dearly and whose well-being for which I am responsible. not to mention that I need a phone in which prospective employers can contact me. 

I'm not entirely sure just what message it is that I'm trying to solidify here, I just know that being poor and trying to stay connected to this futuristic world in a way that remains current is just as fucking tiresome as arguing with the only utility provider in town, in lieu of silly things like monopoly laws.